If Pets Were in Charge of the World

Peabody Maginnis; (c) 2009, Patrick Maginnis

My husband and I have lived with dogs and cats for close to 30 years. Not just one, mind you, but several at the same time. We are suckers for a sad face.

Pets carefully guard their own territories. (Sound familiar?) Of course, having more than one pet in the house presents opportunities for personality clashes and territorial infringements. A hiss or a growl, or the occasional snapping of teeth in the general vicinity of the offender, usually resolves the issue. There, all done. Conflict over. Time to go back to more pressing matters like fur licking or bird watching.

Humans may not want to admit it, but we interact just like animals. There is your alpha human who has to be the big cheese in any situation. Men often fight over females. Females dress themselves to attract males. You can always tell who’s looking for a mate. And we certainly do protest loudly when someone challenges our territorial rights. So, why don’t we settle our differences by hissing and growling at our adversaries? The loudest and more dominant group wins, period, then everyone goes about their business.

How about we hiss at North Korea and see if they hiss back? Maybe swat at each other across a negotiating table with claws extended. Then we could all have a good laugh and go home. Better than a game of one-upmanship with nuclear weapons.

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